Tired of it

Just want a hug. He is so offensive, snappy, I can’t even speak. My boy wants to stay up to play a game he paid for and is being released tonight… whispered with him about the fact that He wouldn’t be ok with it.. He heard from downstairs and yelled up that we shouldn’t be whispering and what the fuck is going on.. blah blah. So, if it were up to me he could stay up to play it since he worked to buy the early release. .. and I told him to, just don’t get caught! I am so not happy. I work so hard, I am so lonely, I am so deprived of physical affection and I am so head fucked into thinking this is normal and I have no other options.

Will just cuddle up on my short couch and sleep… can’t even go to the spare room with a real bed cos he sees that as me separating myself from him… but the couch… been on it for over a year, and that is ok 😢

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