I can’t think of a title

I am so fucked up right now. I had a good Christmas, got nice presents, and had his family over for Boxing Day for a big dinner and drinks, I got reallly drunk with his dad, we drank all the slow gin together.. for a moment I pretended he was my dad. I am tired of feeling so alone. At the end of the night his dad kissed me on the head and told me everything was okay.. we talked about the fact that I had called him to let him know his son, my partner, was very pissed off with him about some football game.. it was ridiculous.. he had thanked me for letting him know, and told me how he felt about it all, he wasn’t in the wrong at all… but then he had a heart attack that night. I felt so bad, thought it was my fault. He told me it was all ok, and I felt almost like u had a dad.. but I don’t. It is his dad, and he takes it for granted and is willing to cut him off at the drop of a hat. That makes me angry because I would give anything for my dad to want me. And his mum.. apparently she is mentally ill, and right wing.. or is it left?! Whatever.. he won’t speak to her although she wants to be in his life. I have to stay out of it. His daughter hates him so much she changed her name.. first and last.. and wouldn’t speak to him since we met.. I was told it was because she hated me and thought I split her parents up… they had been separated a couple of years when we met, and this girl was 18 years old! She called the other day.. once a year she calls for money.. he is with her now, helping her move.. I am the most supportive person in the whole world when it comes to her.. I encourage him to go, help her and talk to her, give her what she needs because she is his daughter. I have no problem with it, in fact I would be angry if he didn’t help her.

Anyway, I am sad because I have no friends or family. Normal shit. He is home, gotta go.


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